🔗 Share this article

Sometimes, Jay Spring feels he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his periods of extreme self-importance often turn “detached from reality”, he explains. You feel invincible and you think, ‘The world will recognize that I surpass everyone else … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

For Spring, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are often coming after a “sudden low”, where he feels overwhelmed and embarrassed about his behavior, making him especially susceptible to negative feedback from others. He began to think he might have NPD after looking up his traits through digital sources – and was later confirmed by a specialist. Yet, he questions he would have accepted the diagnosis if he hadn’t previously arrived at that realization on his own. When someone suggests to somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – particularly if they harbor a sense of being better. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they’ve built up. And within that framework, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding NPD

Although people have been labelled as narcissists for over 100 years, the meaning can be ambiguous what people refer to as the label. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” explains an expert in narcissism, adding the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he suggests many people keep it private, due to widespread prejudice linked to the disorder. Someone with NPD will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a strategy of using people to enhance their social status through things like pursuing power,” the professor clarifies. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in Narcissism

Though a significant majority of people identified as having NPD are males, findings suggests this number does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that female narcissism is frequently manifests in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is less commonly diagnosed. Male narcissism tends to be somewhat tolerated, just kind of like everything in society,” says a young adult who shares content on her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on social media. It’s fairly common, the two disorders appear together.

Personal Struggles

“I really struggle with receiving negative comments and rejection,” she explains, “because if I hear that the problem is me, I either go into self-protection or I withdraw entirely.” Although experiencing this reaction – which is often called “ego wounding”, she has been working to manage it and listen to guidance from her close relationships, as she doesn’t want to slip into the negative conduct of her earlier years. My past relationships were toxic to my partners in my youth,” she admits. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she explains she and her partner “maintain an agreement where I told him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if I say something manipulative, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood mostly in the care of her father and says she lacked supportive figures in her youth. It’s been a process of understanding over the years which behaviors are acceptable versus unacceptable to say when arguing because I lacked that guidance in my formative years,” she says. There were no boundaries when my family members were criticizing me in my early years.”

Origins of NPD

These mental health issues tend to be associated with childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” says an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “linked to that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he states, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting specific standards. They then “continue to use those familiar tactics as adults”.

Similar to other of the NPD-diagnosed people, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The 38-year-old explains when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve academic success and career success, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “good enough”.

In adulthood, none of his relationships were successful. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he says. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of experiencing genuine affection, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, in a comparable situation, has difficulty with feelings. She is “really understanding of the internal struggles in my head”, he says – it was actually she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Subsequent to a consultation to his GP, an assessment was arranged to a therapist for an diagnosis and was told his diagnosis. He has been put forward for therapeutic sessions through national services (extended treatment is the primary approach that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the treatment delay for an extended period: “They said it is probably going to be in a few months.”

Disclosure was limited to a small circle about his condition, because “negative perceptions are widespread that all narcissists are abusers”, but, in his own mind, he has accepted it. This understanding allows me to gain insight into my behavior, which is beneficial,” he comments. Each individual have accepted their narcissism and are pursuing treatment for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the disorder. But the presence of NPD content creators and the expansion of digital groups suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number